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Title: The Trouble with Wedding Invitations and Jackie
Spoilers: None, if you have already seen Doomsday.
Rating: PG -13 ish?
Ship: 10th Doctor/Rose
Summery: The title kind of speaks for it’s self and it’s inspired by prompt 1 in the December Time and Chips Prompt Table. So it's really late and it's been sitting on my computer a quarter finished for the last two months nearly. I decided it’s about time I actually finished it.
 
“Remind me again. Why did we put your mother in charge of our wedding?” said the Doctor as he paced angrily in the kitchen of the Tardis, as he waved a piece of paper wildly in one hand. 
 
Rose, sitting at the kitchen table drinking her morning tea shrugged, “You’re the one who changed the subject every time I brought it up. I couldn’t put her off any more. Besides, I thought you two were getting along now.”
 
“There is no getting along with that woman. She slapped me. Again!” said the Doctor, his voice getting squeaky as he shouted. 
 
“Well you’re the one who left me in another dimension for 6 years.”
 
“5 and a half actually,” said the Doctor, “I told you didn’t I, to always wait 5 and a half years. Remember? Back on that ship made out of the crew, with the space age clockwork repair droids.”
 
Rose rolled her eyes. Ever since he had found her he had taken to reminding her of every one of their adventures like he was afraid she had forgotten them, and him, “You said five and a half hours actually, not years.”
 
“Minutes, hours, months, years, what the difference?” said the Doctor, “Humans, always got to nitpick those fine details and beside I found you again, didn’t I? Cut a neat surgical hole in the dimensions, popped across the void, and immediately went to pick you up.”
 
“Yeah, and showing up on my doorstep after 5 and a half years, and asking ‘are you coming or not’ was certainly a good way to endear yourself to my mother,” said Rose as she stood up and washed out her cup. “Look, she just wants to be involved in this, before we go back to the other dimensions. It’s just her way of saying goodbye.” 
 
    As the Doctor mumbled under his breath as he continued pacing, Rose couldn’t help but smile. Ever since he had arrived in this universe, expecting to be able to pop back directly to his own, he had been subdued. While that wouldn’t have been unusual in his last regeneration, in this one it stuck out like a Dalek at a salt and pepper shaker convention. 

    He had played around at fixing the Tardis, before it started spurting oil at him at random intervals, once while he was in the shower.  Then he started in on improving (or ‘fixing’ as he called it) all the electrical appliances at her parents home; much to their, especially Jackie’s, dismay. While she didn’t mind when he enabled the home phone to be able to telephone across the void to Rose’s mobile, she protested when he started in on her washing machine.
 
Apparently, the machine wasn’t meant to spin so fast it ripped holes in clothes. 
 
“I only increased the speed of the cycle by 34 percent,” protested the Doctor, when Jackie had confronted him with her ruined clothes. “Actually on some planets, ripped clothing is fashionable, people pay money to get their clothes looking like that.” 

At her unimpressed look, he swallowed nervously as he got out his sonic screwdriver, “I’ll do a bit of jiggery pokey and I’ll fix it for you.”
 
Jackie raised her hand, “You go near my washing machine again, and I’ll smash that sonic screwdriver in to so many pieces it will take all of your remaining regenerations to put it back together again.”
 
After which he made a careful study of avoiding both Jackie and her household appliances.
 
“Have you seen the new draft of the wedding invitations?” said the Doctor as he came to a stop in front of her, waving the piece of paper in her face. “She could just write, ‘The wedding of Rose Tyler and the Doctor, on blah blah blah, please RSVP’, but no, she has to write this! Why did we decide to get married anyway?”
 
Rose smiled as she took one of his hands.
 
He squeezed her hand lightly in response as if he never wanted to let go, “Oh yeah, that’s why, but couldn’t we have just eloped? They do a nice ceremony on the planet Hibbing, it’s recognized throughout the universe in the 44th century, and there is an additional perk of you’re mother being a whole universe away.”
 
Rose stepped closer and hugged him with her other arm as they continued to hold hands.

“My mother really wants to do this for us. She won’t see much of me once we leave.”
 
He hugged her back tightly, as he sighed, “I used to know better. I never went back for anyone and I never met people’s families. I’ve gotten soft in my old age.”
 
Rose purred cheekily, “I don’t think you are anywhere near soft.”
 
That is your fault entirely, Rose Tyler,” said the Doctor as he stepped away still holding on to her hand. “And I would thank you not to bring that up, when we're discussing you’re mother. It disturbs me.” He shuddered slightly. “Very much disturbs me. In fact I would say I haven’t been so disturbed since….”
 
Rose interrupted, recognizing the signs of the start of a long ramble. “Can I have a look at the draft invitation?”
 
He handed her the crumbled invitation as he continued talking.
 
 
You are invited to the unfortunate event of my beloved daughter
 
Rose Tyler
 
Marriage to
 
The idiot in a blue suit
 
….who doesn’t seem to realize that most people changes their clothes more then once a year.

In case she doesn’t wake up and realizes what a mistake she is making before the wedding, it’s going to be held on the 14th of July at 11am and will be followed by a reception at the Tyler Manor House.
 
 
 
“It’s her idea of a joke,” explained Rose once she finished, “She wouldn’t actually send this out. She’s not that mean.”
 
The Doctor looked at her doubtfully, “She slapped me. Twice.” He said, as if that indicated that she definitely could be that mean. 
 
“Look. I know my mother, she wouldn’t really do such a thing,” at his unconvinced look, she contiuned. “Ok, don’t worry, I’ll talk to her.”
 
“You know I do change my clothes more then once a year? It’s just that I find a style I like and I tend to stick to it for a while. ” said the Doctor anxiously,
 
“Doctor, I’ve lived with you for a bit over two years at one point, I am completely aware you do change your clothes. Otherwise it would have been a touch more awkward when we slept together,” said Rose reassuringly.
 
However he still looked at her worriedly as his hand tightened around hers.
 
“I’m not going to change my mind, Doctor. It took me this long to finally get you to propose, and now you’re stuck with me. It just means that occasionally you are going to have to put up with my mother.”
 
“For you, I could put up with a hundred Jackie’s all at once,” said the Doctor softly, but then he shuddered. “Sorry, just imaging a hundred Jackie’s all yelling, offering tea, and threatening to slap me. It was bad enough when I used to keep running into myself, at one point there was four of me at the same place. We couldn’t stop arguing, though we did manage to argue and beat the villain. I’ve always been a genius at multitasking.”
 
Rose smiled, “You never used to talk about your past. I like hearing about it.”
 
“It’s probably another sign I’m getting old,” sighed the Doctor as they sat back down at the kitchen table, their hands still joined, “I’ve started to reminisce about my past. Before you know it, I’ll start exaggerating about all my adventures and how much better it was in the old days. Are you sure you know what you’re getting in to? Because now the time to pull out, if you want to that is, if you don’t…well…because once were wed, we’re not getting divorced. That’s one earth tradition, I don’t follow. Old Gailfrey law.”
 
“How old?” asked Rose cheekily.  
 
“About five seconds, and two milliseconds,” said the Doctor as he grinned at her, “So no changing your mind?”
 
“Never. I said forever, and I meant it. I made my choice a long time ago. Probably back when you told me it could travel in time. ”
 
“Ah, so you’re only after me for the Tardis. Well, it is the sports car of time travel,” said the Doctor proudly.    
 
“Hence the fact you have a bicycle pump attached to the console,” said Rose, “Beside, I’m also after you.”
 
“I am a bit foxy in this body, aren’t I?” The Doctor grinned, “No big ears and nose.”
 
“Hey! I liked those big ears,” said Rose laughing, “and you can’t underestimate that northern ascent.”
 
“Well, I can do a perfect Scottish accent in this regeneration,” said the Doctor, switching to his scottish burr. "When I want to that is."
 
Rose laughed, “It’s a good thing you can’t be jealous of yourself.”
 
The Doctor grinned, “Well, I’ve always been pretty marvelous in every regeneration, though I haven’t always had the dress sense I do now.”
 
“Says the man wearing red trainers with a blue suit,”
 
“Hey! These trainers are strictly practical. I believe in having comfortable feet when running, even if it’s only when running from Jackie.”
 
“Doctor, you landed the Tardis on top of her dining room table during dinner; of course she was a bit upset.”
 
Two Days Later
 
     When the Doctor stormed into the console room, waving a piece of paper, this time Rose didn’t even have to ask.
 
 “Do you know where she left this one? Mmmm? She left it on the door of the Tardis. My Tardis with bluetack! She couldn’t just hand it to me could she, or slip it under the door like a normal person!”
 
“Nothing slips underneath the Tardis door,” said Rose absently as she flipped a page of her magazine.
 
“I know that. Of course I know that, but that is no excuse for her to graffiti my Tardis. With blue tact! And my name is not John Doe Smith!”
 
He handed her the draft invitation and immediately sat down beside her, resting his feet on the Tardis consul.
 
“I’ve been a John Smith. It didn’t work out well, the usual aliens trying to take over the Earth….”
 
 
You are invited to the event of my beloved daughter
 
Rose Tyler
 
Marriage to…
 
John Doe Smith
 
…who does not deserve her so he better darn well take her to visit her mother frequently, which does not mean once in every 5 and a half years.
 
In case she doesn’t wake up and realizes what a mistake she is making before the wedding, it’s going to be held on the 14th of July at 11am and will be followed by a reception at Tyler Manor House.
 
 
 
 
“…. I eventually opened the watch, saved the day of course, and blew the alien ship up. This point of which is, that my being John Smith endangered people, which is why I’m the Doctor, and I’m not going to spend a whole day correcting everyone because Jackie can’t just write 'The Doctor' on the invitations.”
 
Rose nodded, “I’ll tell her to just put ‘the Doctor’. If she complains I’ll remind her that she always used to tell me to marry a doctor.”
 
The Doctor looked at her and grinned, “Really? Because I’m the definite article.”
 
“Really. Apparently they earn a good living.”
 
“Trust your mother!” said the Doctor, “I haven’t got a penny, but I have got a really really nifty sonic screwdriver and the last Tardis in existence.”
 
“We’re all set then,” grinned Rose. “So when are we leaving?”
 
“Immediately, after lunch on the 14th. Now only 10 days away,” said the Doctor learning back on the seat, before a thought occurred to him, “She’s taking a bit long getting these invitations organized. It’s only been a week but still! If she continues on at this rate, taking in account the usually speed of Earth post system, they won’t get the invitations till after…….”
 
 His words and thought processes grinded to a halt as Rose pressed her lips against his.  
 
“Rose Tyler,” said the Doctor later when they broke apart for air, “are you trying to distract me? That’s not a complaint, mind, if you would like to continue distracting me I wouldn’t be at all adverse and would more then likely be cooperative…….”
 
Needless to say, not a lot of talking occurred after that. At least, not with words at any rate. 

******************

That afternoon, Rose and Jackie sat together at the dining room table in the Tyler Manor House, surrounded by paper. Even a small wedding, required a lot of work.
 
“Flowers?” asked Rose as she marked the previous item off of her to do list.
 
“Finally got that organized yesterday,” said Jackie Tyler, “Got a good deal from the bloke in the village. Catering?”
 
“Hired, and I’ve already let them know about Aunt Catherine’s allergy to shellfish, and peanuts,” said Rose
 
“She’s also lactose intolerant, the poor dove; if she wasn’t such an old buzzard I’d feel sorry for her. Make sure you tell the catering lady, maybe they will be able to put together something that she’s not allergic to.”
 
Rose nodded, and added that to her to do list, then tongue in cheek she asked, “Wedding invitations?”
 
“You know, I had that organized weeks ago, sweetheart,” said Jackie as she put her pen down, “It’s only a small wedding after all, the only reason I printed up any invitations at all was so that no one would have any excuse not to remember when it was on, especially that Doctor of yours.”
 
“He wouldn’t miss his own wedding,” said Rose
 
“Hmph, I wouldn’t put it past him. For all he says he’s a Time Lord, he doesn’t seem to have a very good sense of time. Besides the way he’s been moping around here for the last week. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had lost track of the days.”
 
“Trust me; he’s been counting down the days since he found the first ‘draft invitation’.” 

Jackie smiled, “Good.
 
“Are you that anxious to get rid of me?” said Rose lightly.
 
“Not at all, sweetheart,” said Jackie seriously. “I used to always dread the day you were going to more out of the flat, and here you are moving to another dimension. But, I’m happy for you, darling. Ever since the beach, your been more subdued, serious. As if you were determined to just get on with your life, and then he arrived back on our doorstep, just like in the beginning, and I knew that’s where you wanted to be.”
 
“He’s the Doctor,” said Rose simply, “I don’t know what it is. He goes though at least six mood changes in a hour, frequently locks himself away with the Tardis to try and ‘fix things’, never puts the marmalade away, is certain he is always right, rarely shuts up and just last week he took apart my new toaster to improve the settings, but now it freezes the bread instead. He can drive me mad sometimes, and,” Rose paused, “I love him. I dated others; I moved on in a way and got on with my life. But it was like in the back of my mind I knew, we would find each other again and a part of me, was just waiting for him to burst though the door, all excited about the next adventure.”
 
“I was surprised when you said you two were getting married,” said Jackie, “He never seemed the sort to settle down, either of him, and now here you two are, getting married.”
 
“Surprised me too, thought it would be too domestic for him, but he was the one who proposed,” said Rose. “Now, the celebrant?”
 
**************
“You know, Ricky…”
 
“Mickey.”
 
“…There is a reason that mother in laws are one of the most feared population subgroup in the universe. Both universes, actually. No one ever says watch out for your father in law, or you don’t want to get on the bad side of your new aunt in law. It’s always the mothers!” The Doctor exclaimed loudly, causing everyone in the pub to turn to look, “You know Mickey, I think all mothers do a course on slapping as soon as they find out they are pregnant.”
 
Mickey looked into his drink as if it held the secrets of the universe and wondered why he let Rose convince him to give the Doctor a bachelor party, even if the bachelor party only considered of him, the Doctor and a few mates from Torchwood sitting in the pub for a while after work. Though he noted bitterly, everyone from Torchwood had already escaped, he couldn’t blame them, as he thought longingly of his own bed at home. The Doctor hadn’t shut up all night.
 
“I’ve never been slapped by someone mother,” said Mickey absently.
 
“Really?” asked the Doctor incredulously, “Not even by Jackie?”
 
“Not even when she thought I had murdered Rose. She was too busy yelling and spitting at me to slap me.”
 
The Doctor was silent for a while.
 
“It must just be you,” said Mickey cheerfully as that surprisingly happy thought came to mind.

Then the Doctor laughed, “Mickey, you’re an idiot.”
 
Mickey shrugged his shoulders, “I may be an idiot, but at least I haven’t been slapped by someone’s mother.”
 
**************
As the day of the wedding dawned, the Doctor couldn’t seem to shake the impression that something was terribly wrong. He had been lying there dozing for the last two minutes, and it was only now that his mind became aware of the fact that something was missing. Something important. He reached out and touched….paper?
 
He grabbed the paper and sat up suddenly. Rose was no where in sight, and after a quick conference with the Tardis he knew there was no one else on board.
 
Was it simply a note or a ransom demand? Thought the Doctor, as he scrambled to smooth out the piece of paper, which someone had been callous enough to replace Rose with or….as a horrible thought just occurred to the Doctor…..it could be another one of those wedding invitation. Never before had the Doctor so completely understood the terror those two innocent words strung together could summon.
 
 
    Dear Doctor,
 
     You are invited to the marriage of my daughter……
 
Rose Tyler
To
You
 
That is, if you manage to get there on time. You have till 10.15 to be dressed in an appropriate suit, not one of those you wear every day mind, and be outside the Tardis, where Pete will meet you and make sure you get to the right place and at the right time.
 
If you are late, or you at any point of today proceedings make my daughter cry at all, then even the void won’t save you from my wrath.  
 
   You’re future mother in law,
 
            Jackie Tyler
 
 
    The Doctor shuddered momentarily, and considered how very lucky he was that Rose wasn’t the type to cry with happiness, and hoped that she didn’t chose today to start.
 
He jumped out of bed, and headed to the wardrobe, to do exactly what he had been told.
 
Wedding invitations were by no means the only weapon in Jackie Tyler’s arsenal, and the Doctor really did not want to ever encounter the rest.
 
Needless to say, the Doctor was precisely on time for the wedding, Rose was beautiful, and the reception went off without a hitch, though everyone had called him Doctor … and then paused as if expecting him to fill in the rest.
 
But it wasn’t till the Doctor was finally able to set the Tardis coordinates for the other universe that he finally relaxed.
 
“What are you smiling about?” asked Rose as she came to stand next to him.
 
He grinned at her, “Have I ever told you I happy I am that you aren’t the type to cry with happiness?”
 
Rose frowned, “We just got married today, this is the first opportunity that we have had to be alone together in about 5 days and you want to talk about how I don’t cry with happiness.”
 
The Doctor stepped forward and picked her up as he hugged her tightly, before setting her back down on her feet.
 
“Come on, Rose Tyler. I think there are matters that require out immediate attention,” said the Doctor as he grabbed her hand and started for the bedroom.
 
“In the bedroom?” asked Rose, tongue in cheek.
 
He stopped and leaned against the bedroom door, “Well it is our wedding night, and we are now back in the right universe.”
 
She smiled.
 
He grinned.
 
“Come on Shake,” Rose called over her shoulder as she walked in to their bedroom. “I’ll show you my moves, if you show me yours.”
 
“Deal,” agreed the Doctor as he closed the bedroom door behind them.
 
Life was brilliant, decided the Doctor later that night while Rose Tyler was curled against him. Now if only he could convince Rose she only needed to see her mother once a year…at the very most.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
maniacalshen
Jan. 31st, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC)
"John Doe Smith" almost made me choke on my breakfast cereal. Sounded like Jackie had been watching crime dramas and doing some wishful thinking. XD
cartooned
Feb. 1st, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
Maybe she had.....

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for commenting!
xbriyeon
Jan. 31st, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
This was just lovely and hilarious and so very IC of the Doctor and Jackie xD! ♥
cartooned
Feb. 1st, 2008 02:25 am (UTC)
I'm glad they were both in character. I haven't written Jackie before.

Thanks for commenting!
togetheragain21
Jan. 31st, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
Loved it.Really amusing.Typical Jackie behaviour.
cartooned
Feb. 1st, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
Jackie does like to torture the Doctor doesn't she?

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting!
harpinred
Jan. 31st, 2008 07:12 pm (UTC)
This was hysterical! I love how you write Jackie, and most especially the last note she left him - clever woman, getting into the TARDIS like that.

Your Doctor is at his adorkable best.
cartooned
Feb. 1st, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
Thanks. It was fun to write both Jackie and the Doctor.

Thanks for commenting!
sunnytyler001
Jan. 31st, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
Awww!!!!! That was lovely!!!
cartooned
Feb. 1st, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for commenting!
claramata
Apr. 7th, 2008 09:21 am (UTC)
I think I've just woken up my house by hysterically laughing at 5:30 in the morning. I loved this fic, and especially Jackie's last invitation.

So perfectly Jackie. You have a great eye for all the characters, but Jackie really stood out in this one for me.
cartooned
Apr. 7th, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
I glad you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writting Jackie, especially the invitations.

Thanks for commenting!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

Quotes

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads."
-Erica Jong

One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. -- Terry Pratchett (Jingo, 1997)

"It is awfully hard to be b-b-brave," said Piglet, "when you are only a Very Small Animal". Piglet

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.--Janis Joplin
The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more." -- Max Kauffmann

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about."
-- Unknown, The Hokey Pokey, as if written by William Shakespeare.